Category: Pets

The Greatest Loss of All

The loss of Milo cat

Love can come in many forms, sometimes it instantaneous, sometimes it creeps up on us without us knowing. There’s the love we feel for our friends, our family and that unexplainable, unconditional love when we becoming parents. Sometimes we love things, sometimes we love places, memories, smells and taste. Love is one of the greatest gifts we have been given as humans, but losing love, I believe is the greatest loss of anything, whatever form it came in.

For me, my first great love was that of my cat Milo. I was 21 when he came into my life a gangly, not so little, ginger kitten. Instantly I fell in love, a deep meaningful love. For all intense purposes, he was my baby, my fur baby. He was all I could ever ask for in a cat. Loving, gentle, docile. He was a doofus, but my gorgeous doofus and it made me love him even more. I never had a close friend, someone to confide in. Milo became my confidant, my shoulder to cry on over the years. His devotion to me never faltered. Not even when my little baby Fin arrived and my attention was elsewhere.

In October I blogged about how I almost lost him to Heart Failure caused by undiagnosed hyperthyroidism. Our Vet, Andrew was amazing and with his help, we were able to give Milo some borrowed time. How much was unknown, but I was grateful for any. Over the months Milo had his ups and downs, but I had always been able to nurse him on his off days, to encourage him to eat when he was feeling a bit down. To pay back the love and devotion he had unconditionally given to me.

Andrew had spoken to us about the end to prepare us, but I never understood how I would know the time was right. Although there were a few occasions where I had questioned if it was time, it never seemed to be. I worried I was missing something. However, in April, Milo took a turn for the worse again. This time I knew, I looked into his eyes and something was missing, I knew this time he wasn’t coming. Saying goodbye was heartbreaking, but it was time for him to take his final journey and for me to experience the greatest loss I have ever experienced. That day a little part of me also died.

Milo was such a big part of my Life and I am so grateful I got to spend a few more months with him. It still doesn’t seem real, I keep expecting him to walk through the door at any time. I have cried a million tears and I am crying as I write this. The house seems so odd with him not here. I felt relief when we his ashes were back, he was home again. I haven’t yet had the courage to do anything with them, in time I will, but for now just having him back is enough. Milo was never a wanderer, it would not feel right to scatter him, he loved being at home with us so that’s where he will stay, for now, his ashes in our home, his pawprints in my heart.

RIP my dear old boy, I’m sorry it had to end so loss

Mummy in a Tutu
Twin Mummy and Daddy



#MySundayPhoto – Dear old Friend Milo

Milo#MySundayPhoto – Milo.

Some people are not animal people, some people are. I fall not the latter. My family would not be complete without a little furry friend part of it. As far as I can remember animals have alway been a big part of my life and I would not have it any other way.

Milo entered my life 13 years. A present for my 21st birthday. I always thought of myself as a dog person, but to have a dog would have been unfair as I worked full time. So I decided I would love a cat to keep me company. Independent enough to not need me 24/7 and that I could go to work and not worry.

Milo slotted into my life perfectly, he was my little fur baby. Unlike most cats he was actually very needy. He was a brute in size, but scared of anything and everything. I ended up being his comforter and protector. Although he had a nervous disposition he was actually really friendly. He has one of the most placid temperaments I have ever known in a cat, a real gentle giant. Never has he got mad, even now with a toddler running around. The bond between us was and still is inseparable.

Friday evening came the day I knew would one day come. I had hoped later rather than sooner. He came up to our bedroom panting and struggling to breathe. Milo relaxed after a while but something was obviously wrong. In the morning, we rushed him to the vets straight away. I honestly thought we would lose him. I was heartbroken. After a day of tests and scans he was diagnosed with primary heart disease and first stage heart failure. I cried my eyes out.

The vets were great, there was some hope. Although he was very poorly, he was in good spirits. Alert, inquisitive and feeding. The vet had seen worse cases where the animals had lived happily for a few years. We can control the systems with medication as long as Milo will take them. He wouldn’t be in discomfort or pain and could live happily for another few years. All I can say is thank god for dreamies!! In went the pill into the centre of the treat and Milo swallowed it whole! It’s still early days, he needs a review next week and another scan, hopefully the news will be good. Until then he is being spoiled rotten, my dearest and oldest friend.



My Dear Friend – Where did the years go?

my-dear-friendMy Dear Friend,

Thirteen years ago I met my dearest friend, that friend, was you. Little did I know that the gangly little ball of ginger fur would become a huge part of my life. Your dedication to me never faltered, for that, I thank you so much.

You were such a character from the moment you came home with me. Huge for your age, but terrified of your own shadow. How you made me laugh. One time I remember, putting you in the lounge so you didn’t finish your smaller brother tea as you always did. You were only a few months old. The crying made my heart melt and I opened the door pretty much as soon as I closed it. There I found you sitting in a small patch of wee. I don’t know if you thought we were all going to abandon you, but you never had to worry about that. You were mine forever.

Night times would consist of me putting you at the foot of my bed, and me waking up to find you snuggled into my neck. I loved your warm cuddles and something I really appreciated in my darkest days.

You grew into a strapping handsome boy, you could have owned the street with your brute behind you, but instead you preferred to try and make friends with the neighbouring cats. A fighter you were not. You developed the most docile of temperaments I have ever known in a cat. Never once to this day have you spat, hissed or gone for anyone. Even the many times I have accidently trod on your tail. You developed the nickname, Lenny. This was because you were never the brightest of cats, but what you lacked in brains you made up in with love. My beautiful loving boy.

There was a time when it was just you and me. I was finding life very hard and lonely, every day you were there to greet me after work and spend the evening snuggled on my lap as I cried into your Fur. You never once complained, as if you knew. You were and always have been my constant. I really couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.

As time passed, our bond remained, even when I met Chris. To you, he was another lap to sit on and another hand to give you tickles. I, however, owe you an apology. The last few years have been tough and since Finlay arrived he has taken up so much of my time. There were times when I was tired and I pushed you away, times when I shouted at you because you tried to tell me I hadn’t given you breakfast yet. Perhaps i haven’t given you the love and respect you deserve as you entered old age, for that I am so sorry. I took you for granted. After all, you remained fiercely loyal to me. You even accept the toddler torture in your stride. To my surprise, your docileness has never faltered, never once have you told Finlay off. My special boy, how I love you!

So when this morning, I noticed you were struggling to breathe, we rushed you straight to the vets. They confirmed that you were suffering from Primary Heart disease and were in heart failure. It breaks my heart writing this and tears are falling down my cheeks. How did I not notice you were so poorly? The hours passed like days as I waited for news. Although the prognosis is not great, the vet feels that it can for now be controlled with medication.

Suddenly thirteen years seems such a short amount of time and the realisation that you will not be here with me forever is heartbreaking. Our time is slowly coming to an end and I can’t ever imagine you not being here, what will I do without you? I don’t know how much time we have left together it could be months or if were lucky a few years. However, my dear boy, that is up to you. However long it is though, you must promise me you will let me know when you are ready and I will hold be there right next to you, just like where you have always been for me.

In the uncertainty, all I know is that we have been given some precious extra time together. I am going to cherish and appreciate every last moment we have left together. Never take you for granted again. Thank you my darling for allowing me to share your life with you, it really has been an honour friend, here’s to our last precious chapter.

All my love


Twin Mummy and Daddy