Tag: Maternity

Bump Watch: Tiny Tuppen #2 Week 22

week 22

Another week has flown by, I feel I am beginning to feel like a broken record, somehow I have got to week 22 already. For those that have been following my bump watch, No I haven’t made any further progress getting organised, hey I have about 18 weeks! That’s looking back to say July, that’s aaaaaaages right? Oh Crumbs maybe not! Actually, I bought a packet of newborn nappies this week, there, progress, I’m getting there slowly! Anyway, there are far more pressing things to think about, Halloween is now over which can only mean one thing, Christmas planning!

Week 22

I think my hormones have been really messing me this week, I have been a little bit of an emotional wreck.  Getting upset over a few things like my cats health. To be honest, I will probably be upset whether pregnant or not, but I have gone from happy to crying in seconds, which must be my hormones. However, crying over accidently crushing a snail is definitely the pregnancy hormones (I’m a softie)!

I feel that the hormones are also playing havoc with my anxiety. I have felt quite good the last few weeks and have pushed myself to get out and do a few things with Fin, which I just avoided in the Summer. However, I have found myself worrying more and more about the birth and what could go wrong. My anxieties, as do most peoples tend to go from something benign like eating an apple, to how that apple then ends up killing you. Ok that sounds dramatic, but anxiety is a horrible horrible thing.

So this week me thinking about the upcoming birth and a nice pleasant VBAC has on a few occasions left me sobbing thinking I will need to have a C-section and then bleed to death. It’s irrational and I try hard to remind myself that. I’m quite lucky that I can pull myself out of it quite quickly, but it’s just silly and annoying.

Also, I had my Eye check up this week and I suddenly felt quite anxious, I find myself looking for the door for an exit, not that I would ever just run out. That would be too embarrassing! However, as I sat there I suddenly thought to myself Do I smell of Poo? I have no idea why this thought entered my head, I don’t think I have ever smelt of poo. Not even when I had a pooey newborn. Also having showered an hour before, it was doubtful I would smell of anything. There was no poo I recall on my walk from the car, Why little head would you plant that seed? Well, it had been planted and I spent the next 45 minutes hoping I didn’t smell of poo, embarrassed and uncomfortable!! I definitely blame the hormones, My eyesight has also got worse! Boooo!

I have begun to feel lots of kicking this week which is really nice and reassuring. Mostly down the right side of my tummy which makes sense as that is where the baby was sitting during the scan. I have tried a few exercises to encourage baby to move from the breech position. This involves me elevating my pelvis higher than tummy for 30 seconds at a time. I found the easiest way for me to do this is to lie on the floor and lean my legs and hips up the wall. I did try the one leaning off the sofa/bed but that made the blood rush to my head and I don’t like that.

Hopefully, this will be enough encouragement to boot its bum out my pelvis! Its early days those so I’m not too concerned right now. If in a few weeks it’s still breech I may have to spend the next weeks walking on my hands!

There doesn’t seem to be any pattern at the moment to the movement, I guess the placenta is cushioning a lot of the movement still. There’s been the odd moment when I have had a good wallop, especially in my bladder, so baby is definitely getting stronger. I look forward to getting to know a more regular pattern in the coming weeks so I can keep a better watch on the babies health.

I have quite a few restless nights this week. Not that I can’t sleep, I feel I could sleep for the world right now. It’s more relating to getting comfy. I wouldn’t say the bump is huge right now, but I feel it has really got in the way sleeping. I leant on it too hard the other night and woke myself up. It must have pulled on a round ligament. So as a result of disturbed sleep, this week I have been really sleepy too!

You can read about Week 21 here in my previous instalment, but otherwise join me next week for week 23!

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Bump Watch: Tiny Tuppen #2 – Week 20

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It Seems Bump watch has naturally fallen into place on a Monday. This suits me fine and it means I can link straight up to #MaternityMondays hosted by Emma at Farmers Wife & Mummy. It also means I get a couple of extra days to add any extra updates as my new pregnancy week starts on a Sunday! It has been quite an exciting week this week as I have hit 20 weeks. That means I am half way through (for a normal 40 week pregnancy). How did that Happen? 20 weeks also marks the week of the anomaly scan, and if you want to find out the gender, as long as baby is playing ball, you should get find out Pink or Blue at this appointment! What did we do? Keep reading to find out!

I was having a conversation with a friend on Sunday about the pregnancy and I said I feel that I am in denial, but my mind is excited! What do I mean? Well I know I’m pregnant and I very very excited to have a new addition to our family. However, I feel I have not paid much attention to the fact I am pregnant, apart from the developing Bump. I am too busy just trying to brush my hair and clean my teeth and generally make myself publically acceptable. Last week I even made it out with eyeliner on one eye only. If I can’t even think about dressing both eyes properly, how on earth have I got time to think babies!

Week 20

This week was the week I finally began feeling little movements. It has really eased my mind. I don’t know if the baby has moved ever so slightly that is now allowing me to feel the movement. Perhaps it’s just the fact it’s now getting that little bit bigger and stronger. Either way, I am pleased and reassured to be feeling the new little life inside me.

I have developed a strong case of heartburn and indigestion this week. Uncomfortable is an understatement and I can’t imagine it getting any better. I lived on Tums when I was pregnant with Finlay, so I think a trip to the chemist is in order! It will be interesting to see if this baby has a lot of hair as the old wives tale goes!

This week I have started to use Bio Oil daily on the bump. I used this with Finlay and I only developed a couple of small stretch marks in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy. So I am hoping for the same this time round. Although my tummy is in full bloom now, so I guess we’ll see how much I balloon in the coming weeks!

This week I have seen a marked improvement in my energy. Finally, I am feeling more energised, actually wanting to get up and about and do stuff now. Although I know I probably haven’t got too long before my energy levels start sinking again. I am going to try and make the most of it while I can!

20 Week Scan

So we had our 20-week anomaly scan, those who read my 19-week update will know how was unsure about finding out the sex of the new addition. Well, I was still so unsure, even as I headed into the room. When asked the question I just blurted out ‘I don’t know!’ The sonographer was so lovely, she said that was absolutely fine and she would start and if I want to know to say. Chris asked at that point if she would write it down for us ‘Of course’ she replied. So we still don’t know!! To be honest I am very happy with my choice but know I can find out if I have the need too.

bump anomoaly scanSo baby is looking really healthy. It was being a little bit of a monkey and had tucked itself right down in my pelvis, with its chin resting on its chest, and its arm across its heart. Finally, after a few prods of the bump, the sonographer got what she needed. Everything appeared to be working as it should and nothing of any concern was found. My placenta is anterior which explains why it’s taken longer to feel movement. It is however high up, so shouldn’t cause any issues.

The baby is measuring a lot smaller than Finlay at this stage at 368g, with a prediction of 7 and half pounds at term. That’s quite a difference to Finlay’s 8lb 15oz. I guess we will see though! Its head and legs are the smaller end of the scale. So it takes after me with my short legs and pea head.

I’m not sure if I got any gender clues, I was trying to have a little peek and guess. Where Finlay made it very obvious. There was nothing obvious about this one. In fact,  I’m not sure I could see anything there and it was pretty clear potty shot. I asked Chris what he thought and he couldn’t see anything either. We have both got a little thought that perhaps it could be a girl, but I am not going to get my hopes up. What will be will be!

The only piece of news that has made me feel anxious is that baby is currently sitting breech on the right side of my pelvis. It has its bum wedged tightly in and feet waving in the air. The sonographer advised it was pretty normal at this stage to be breech and there was plenty of time to turn. However those who have read my Birth Trauma post will know that Finlay was an undiagnosed breech, and was the start of a series of events that left me feeling quite traumatised. I just hope this baby turns.

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Birth Trauma: A Series of Unfortunate Events

birth trauma

N.B: Apologies, this is quite a long post. I have tried to keep it as brief as possible without losing too much detail. The events that led to my feeling associated with Birth Trauma span a number of weeks.

Birth Trauma Fraud

I feel like a fraud writing Birth Trauma. After all Finlay’s birth wasn’t really dramatic in the grand scheme of things. There was no alarm ringing emergency, no rushing about, no worrying if my baby was going to be OK. Although, when I think back when Finlay was born, there is no fondness for those first few weeks. My memories are masked with a sense of fear and dread. The littlest thing can trigger that feeling to return, like the music on Finlay’s nightlight or the wallpaper in the spare room (thankfully we painted it last weekend).

I thought I had come to terms with it, but here I am at 20 weeks pregnant. Little thoughts keep creeping back into my head, my pulse quickens and the palms of my hands begin to feel sweaty. Birth Trauma was unknown to me. It was something I found out about after reading a post from Ghost Writer Mummy.  It’s her site and experiences on Birth Trauma that inspired me to share my experience.

I have spoken a little bit about Finlay’s Birth, in Finlay’s Plagiocephaly Journey. However, I chose not to go into too much detail as that was not the focus of the page. Finlay’s birth was not particularly dramatic, but a number of errors leading up to and after all added to my experience. Together, they left a traumatic imprint and feelings associated with birth trauma.

My waters break

I was 10 days overdue when my waters broke. Having called the maternity unit they asked me to come in for them to double check. It was a quiet night and I wasn’t experiencing any contractions. Three days previously the community midwife advised Finlay was fully engaged and my cervix was fully effaced. As I was already 2 cm dilated then, I thought this was it. The midwife confirmed my waters had gone and to go home and relax. They would expect my contractions to start within 24hrs. If they did not, I was instructed to come back the next evening.

It was a long 24 hours. I wondered if every twinge was the start. It wasn’t to be though by the next evening there was no sign of contractions. I packed my bag, expecting to be admitted due to the risk of infection. Once we arrived it was totally different to the previous night. The unit was run off its feet with labouring women.

When I arrived, I was questioned why I had turned up, no notes had been left for that evening’s staff (unfortunate event 1). After explaining, we were told to wait, unsure if anyone would actually be able to see us. I’m not sure how long we waited but I was eventually given a bed on the pre-labour ward and strapped up for monitoring. Again we waited for what seemed like an eternity.

Once again I was examined and I was asked who wrote my notes that I was fully effaced and dilated? I was not any of these things, it was completely wrong (unfortunate event 2). In fact, there was no way I could be admitted that evening. I would have to come back in the morning to be induced. This meant 36hrs without my waters and increased risk of infection (unfortunate event 3).  Although they were sure I would go into labour that night. Statistics showed that 95% of women go into labour 24 hours after their water broke. Then of the 5% that don’t, 95% go into labour after 48 hours. I fitted into that 5% of 5% of women that don’t (unfortunate event 4)!

Undiagnosed Breech

In the morning, we arrived finally happy that we were getting somewhere. The midwives explained the process of induction and that I would need to be examined by a consultant before the induction would be started. All I can say Is thank god I was. The consultant within seconds of examining me called urgently for a scanner. My baby was an undiagnosed breech (unfortunate event 5).variations-of-breech-positionSuddenly nothing made sense. Finlay was always head down.  C-section vs Breech birth were now my only options. The dangers of each, overwhelming. We decided on an emergency C-section, I was scared and I ended up in floods of tears as the doctors rolled off all the risk including death. Although the risk was greater if the breech birth went wrong. Dying suddenly seemed a real possibility.

The stress must have initiated my contractions, which began nice and strong. Luckily this was just as my time came to go into the theatre.  I have no fear of needles, but I hated the thought of a needle in my spine. My spine is slightly bent and it took two attempts to get the line in, the feeling was horrendous (unfortunate event 6). From this point, everything went smoothly. Finlay was born healthy, There were no other complications, I went to recovery. I thought that would be it, after a few days I would go home.

Recovery

Although I appeared to recover well, I didn’t really feel right. The first 24 hours were a bit brutal, I was in a lot of pain. I felt blood coming out of me. A number of times I requested a change of maternity pads, but the HCA insisted they were clean. They were not. I ended up struggling to change and clean myself, still bed bound (unfortunate event 7). When the time came to get me up, I struggled. I managed to sit on the edge of the bed. As I tried to stand, the pressure inside my tummy was immense, I couldn’t do it. The HCA rolled her eyes and insisted I would have to get up in the morning and walked off.

In the morning with Chris’s help, I forced myself up. I could only take pigeon steps, but I made it to the toilet and had a shower! In the evening I found out that my drugs prescription was all wrong. While I should have had Paracetamol, Co-Codamol and a liquid morphine shot, I was only on Paracetamol!! It doesn’t even touch a headache sometimes, no wonder I hurt so bad (unfortunate event 8) . The new drugs helped a lot, but the pressure inside me continued. The next evening after almost 4 days since we arrived I was discharged. Even though I could barely walk. As I made my way to the entrance, a caretaker noticed us struggling and got me a wheelchair.

Finlay’s Re-Admitted

I was home for one night and one day, when the midwife came to check on Finlay. His birth weight dropped so much, that he had to be readmitted to hospital (unfortunate event 9). I was producing only a small amount of milk, not enough to sustain him. I was put on a milk producing drug, and we had to supplement with formula. We were on a 3 hourly schedule of Breastfeeding, followed by expressing, followed by formula. By the time I finished it was almost time to start again. I was shattered. Slowly Finlay’s weight increased and his sodium levels reduced, we were allowed home.

Losing Blood

At this point, I was still struggling with pain and to walk, but no one seemed concerned.  However, after a few more days at home, I woke one morning with a really heavy period like pain in my tummy. As I sat in bed I felt a rush of blood. I got up to change my maternity pad, but at this point, blood and clots started to fall out of me. Scared I called to Chris, who rang the community midwife. I was feeling quite ill and confused by this point, but Chris was assured that large clots were normal and if I wasn’t soaking a pad within an hour I was fine.

I was too weak and dizzy to know if what was coming out would soak a pad, it was dripping like a tap. Chris was told they were too busy to check on me that morning they could only come in the afternoon (unfortunate event 10) .  At this point I almost fainted in the toilet, that’s when Chris called an ambulance. I was admitted straight back into maternity. Strangely by now, I felt fine, but I had blood everywhere. The consultant who delivered Finlay was on duty came to see me. I can’t remember what she said but she left the room for a few minutes. I then started to feel really faint again.

Postpartum Haemorrhage

The consultant began to examine me and as she did, more clots poured out onto the bed. She worked on me for ages, pushing down on my tummy trying to clear me out. It hurt so much. At one point a midwife came in. The consultant asked her to start cleaning me and the mess. In front of me, the midwife said she was too busy to help me (unfortunate event 11), the consultant went mad. Once she had done all she could I was taken to the recovery room. She checked me often and continued to work on my tummy, constantly apologising but saying it was necessary.

In recovery, I was hooked up to a drip and antibiotics and a drug to contract my womb. Once I had recovered a bit she explained I had postpartum haemorrhage caused by an infection. At that point she was hoping the bleeding would ease, otherwise, I may have to have surgery. I was so scared and I missed my little boy. Chris visited with him but took him home after visiting hours as I was too poorly to look after him.

Home for Good

In the morning the blood loss had eased but my blood levels were low. I had to have 3 units of blood via transfusion. Luckily surgery didn’t seem necessary at this point and I was transferred to the ward in my own private room. Feeling better, I was well enough to have Finlay back with me too. Recovery took another 4 days, but then I was discharged.

As I was discharged, an HCA who had been looking after me, said how pleased the consultant had been with my quick recovery as she had been extremely worried when I was admitted. It was only at that point it occurred to me how poorly I had actually been. I had a small blip a week later and ended up being checked over in maternity as I passed one large clot (unfortunate event 12), but a scan confirmed it was the last of it and I was allowed straight home.

Moving on from Birth Trauma

For months after I would find myself panicking about it all. I never wanted any more babies because of it. It took me a long long time to even think about that. Hence one of the reasons for a 4 year age gap between Finlay and the new baby.

While the bad memories have faded over the years, in the back of my mind I see it all happening again. Realistically I know the chances are so very slim, but the fear is still there. I hope that by sharing my experience it will  help me face my fears. As well as helping anyone who reads this to know that Birth Trauma doesn’t have to be Hollywood dramatic to have a big impact on your life.

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Bump Watch: Tiny Tuppen #2 Week 19

bump-watch-19

Running Late with Bump watch again! Is this the start of pregnancy misorganisation? Quite possible! I knew I was going to be busy over the last couple of days and with all good intentions I was going to draft my post. However, I forgot, oops, baby brain! Am I allowed to say that before baby arrives?

Today, Chris and I actually had a rare toddler free day, we are both off work and Finlay was in Nursery. So we went for a lovely romantic stroll down the forest. It rained. We found a creepy blair witch style twig house to huddle in, it was kinda cute. We then went for a tapas style Thai Lunch, then back home for feet up and a movie snuggled on the sofa. These days are so rare, I just couldnt open my laptop. However come this evening, I was so excited to see I was selected for Farmers wife & Mummys Favourite from #maternityMondays linky last week. That means a lot to me especially as my blog is relatively new, so a big thank you.

Week 19

I was19-weeks in torment this week, as I really wanted to document my growing bump on Bump Watch. However I am terribly camera shy, I hate my picture taken and usually hate every picture ever taken off me. After about 20 change of clothes and I cant even remember how many shots, I found a picture I was semi happy with. I am not a selfie kinda girl, no one said taking a self was so difficult! Anyway, we have a 19 week shot, hello from bump!

I think I was saying last week how small I felt, can we erase that please. I feel I have doubled in size this last week. Even my team colleague at work said how she hadnt noticed my bump before, but this week she could really see it!! Eek,I hope this isnt asign of things to come, I am only small. I dont think I am ging to fit in my normal clothes much longer either, Maternity shopping is a must on my to do list!

I think I am carrying this one differently too, I was looking back at old picture when I was pregnant with Finlay. I was so much neater, bigger, but neater. This bump just seems to overtake my whole tummy!

I have been experiencing back ache quite a bit this week, I think this has been down to long drives and traffic congestion. The Southern rail tarin strike is effecting everything. Its not been that bad, but I think I really need to keep an eye on my posture at my desk, to prevent it getting worse.

I still havent felt movement this week, Im not too worried as I have obviously grown. I thought I may have felt something Friday Morning, Milo our cat wandered in our room while we were sleeping. He layed across my tummy as I slept on my side. He woke me doing so as he has the loudest purr and as he has been so ill, he is allowed to disturb me. Anyway there he was purring across my tummy and I am sure I felt two little nudges, Perhaps its the start and I will begin feling more movement this coming week.

Apart from all this, I feel in very good health. It has been so different from my last pregnancy. There is no sign of any bleeding which is great and no sign of any other nasty things I suffered with. I feel a bit more energized this week and my appertite has gone overboard. I havent had any crazy cravings, but Chocolate has become a good friend…..I write this and think perhaps theres a link between my blossoming tummy haha! I also devoured a box of picked green chilli peppers, but I love them anyway so not a craving.

I still havent got anything organised. I havent really thought about maternity leave, sorting baby clothes, telling HR, stocking up. I think it still doesnt feel that real. Last time everything was about the baby, but this time its still about that baby, but he now a toddler and so much more demanding, everything else takes a backseat!

Finally, it’s only a week until our 20 Week scan, how has that come round so quickly? I thought I had ages to decide if I wanted to find out the sex, but I am still undecided. Everyone has different opinions as it seems I do too. Chisn’tisnt really bothered either way. He would be happy to find out, but If I dont want to, then he will happily wait. I really don’t know. Did you find out?

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